Fact or Fiction--You Decide

I always loved watching feel good movies. I always imagine myself to be the lead actress with whom the handsome actor fell in love with. I guess every girl in the world wishes to have a fairy tale ending.

My heart has been broken a number of times already. I stopped believing that I am a damsel in distress and my prince charming would come to my rescue one day. I know that you are thinking that you know where I am heading and you know where this story will end. You are probably thinking that somebody already proved me wrong. But no--somebody already proved me right. That I am right to say and think that life is not a fairy tale after all. That true love is rare. That prince charmings re meant to live in books and not in real life. That no one would sweep me off my feet and would turn me head over heels. No, there is no such thing as love. Love is a luxury and only the lucky ones get to feel true love.

I met a guy not too long ago. A known player who promised me the world. A guy who promised me that he would love me with all his heart. He promised me that he would prove everyone wrong including me. He promised me that he would prove to me that he is worth every second of my time.

Yes, he did. He did all his promises but only for a while. To cut it short, this guy broke my heart. Before I met him, I still believed and hoped that I would find true love. That not all guys are douche bags. I thought for a while that he could be the one. Even if not forever, he is someone that I would cherish for the rest of my life. It's just that, I thought too much that in the end, all that's left are thoughts.

Even if that guy did broke my heart, I still chose to stay. Not because I love him, but because he makes me feel alive. He is the only one that keeps my feet stuck into reality. Maybe if I let him go and if ever I did not allowed him back into my life, I would remain heartless. For he gives me pain that keeps me believing that one day I will finally find true happiness.

I really don't know where we are heading. we might seem stable at the moment but I know one day, if he finds another--if I find another, we'll leave and forget each other. I actually don't care anymore. The only thing that I care about is what we have now. He makes me feel special at times, he makes me feel pretty and needed. He makes me feel that I matter. I am happy, though I don't know if I am loved or if you can call whatever we have now as love, only the future knows the answer. I don't know and I won't care as long as I am happy even though I am hurting..